


Stockholm Friendship (Is Not Actually a Real Thing)

by boopinbabbit



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boopinbabbit/pseuds/boopinbabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, Molossia is afraid to admit, this is probably going to become a habit for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stockholm Friendship (Is Not Actually a Real Thing)

A trip to the grocery store should not be so stressful, Molossia decided as he wrapped Chomper's lead around a nearby fence post. Especially using that strange distance-hopping power America had taught him all nations could use.

"Even little ones," the super power had laughed, twirling Chomper around in disconcerting circles across the yard. "It's great for slipping past border patrols undetected, and you can even use it to visit your friends anytime you want!"

Molossia hadn't bothered to correct America's assumption at the time, but as he passed through the aisles in search of more snack cakes (Sealand and Ladonia had devoured his stash the last time they'd invaded his house) he wondered if maybe there was a slight bit of more truth to that statement than he had ever wanted.

After all, he hadn't even tried kicking the other micronations out last time Sealand had decided it was Molossia's turn to host their bi-monthly meeting (a decision he himself hadn't been informed of until a slightly harried looking Kugelmugel had showed up, realized they were actually several hours early rather than late, and decided it would be a brilliant idea to paint a mural on the side of Kevin's garage). He also hadn't protested when Wy called him up to discuss desert wildlife (at least he thought that's what they had been talking about since her dialogue could be very hard to understand sometimes...) or when Seborga sometimes decided to drop in "just to chat" (read: eat all of Molossia's food before falling asleep on his couch).

"Maybe this is what friendship is like," he muttered, staring down at the package of rice cakes in his hand. "Or maybe it's that thing where you get used to abuse under pressure and start to think of it as a good thing?"

Either way he was going to need more food probably.

\-----

Seborga was napping on his front porch by the time Molossia got back.

Staring down at him for a moment, the brown-haired nation wondered what his best course of action was before settling on kicking the redhead awake.

"Hey, idiot. You're gonna get heatstroke if you sleep out here," he grumbled, making sure to trod on the other nation's foot as he passed by to unlock the door. "And I'm gonna fucking laugh my ass off when it happens. Dammit," he fumbled his keys, trying to ignore the shaking in his hands.

"Ugh. Ow. Not even a little cute," Seborga groaned, pushing himself up with a yawn. His shirt rode up slightly as he stretched and Molossia jerked his gaze back around to stare at his still very much locked door. "I wouldn't have to sleep outside," the redhead continued, levering himself to his feet and coming to stand beside Molossia, "if you had been here to let me in."

"Well, maybe if you'd actually called before just showing up this time," Molossia started, before realizing the other nation was giving him a surprised look. "What the hell are _you_ staring at?"

"Oh! Uh!" Seborga shook his head, waving his hands around hastily. "Nothing! Nothing! Just-" he titled his head to the side with a wide grin. "I don't think I've ever seen your eyes up this close! They're really pretty!"

Staring his friend (???) down, Molossia allowed a beat of silence to pass before turning and just straight-up kicking the damn door in, all but hurling himself through the now open passage.

"You stay the fuck out there!" He ordered, pointing a shaking finger at the now rather bemused looking redhead and digging through the items on his boss's desk. "Sunglasses. Where the hell are those damn-"

"Here you go," Seborga said, reaching up to tip the offending eyewear down from where it had been resting in his hair and not even having the decency to flinch at the glare Molossia leveled him with for it. "They really are a nice shade of blue though. Kind of like looking up at the sky on a warm day. Are you _really_ going to wear those inside?"

"Fuck off," Molossia grunted, using the pretense of raking his hair back in its usual (at least whenever he had company) messed up style to cover up his rapidly reddening face. "And didn't I tell you to stay out?"

"But its so-o ho-ot," the other nation whined, reaching up again to ruffle Molossia's hair and pouting when his hand was smacked away. "And I'm hungry."

"Well what the hell do you want me to do about it?!"

"Snacks?" There was a hopeful gleam in Seborga's eyes as he pointed at the grocery bags Molossia had dropped by the now broken door in his haste to ~~hide~~ get in.

"Those are for the meeting this week."

"But Mols..."

"You know what-!" the brunet cut in, throwing his hands up. "Fine. I fucking give up! Eat the damn snacks! And fix the door before my boss gets home! I have to go feed my dog."

"But you're the one who-"

"You want snacks?" Molossia asked, stalking over to the bags and lifting one up to shake it at the other nation who nodded. "Then fix my door. And don't touch anything!"

"But how am I supposed to fix the door if-"

"If you finish that sentence I will feed you to the damn coyotes, so help me-"

"All right! All right!" Seborga said, waving his hands placatingly. Molossia watched him for a moment to make sure he was actually going to do it before heading into the kitchen to hunt out Chomper's food.

By the time he came back, the door had been mostly reattached (though it was still a little crooked, and splintered, and oh god Kevin was going to _murder him_ ) and Seborga was sitting on the couch, happily munching a package of twizzlers and flipping through TV channels like he owned the place.

"What part of don't touch anything did you not get?" Molossia muttered (more to himself than anyone else at this point since his friend (!!) _never seemed to fucking listen_ ), settling down on the other side of the couch.

"You have a lot of channels," Seborga noted. "Way more than either of my brothers or even both combined!"

"...yeah well I live in the middle of a fucking desert," Molossia found himself explaining (or maybe defending? why was talking to other people so hard?). "There's not much to do during peace time. Could you _please_ just pick something already?"

"Since you asked so nicely," the other replied, a very light hint of sarcasm lacing his words. "How about a movie then?" The selection screen opened up on a title Molossia vaguely recognized from some commercials he'd seen on Youtube.

"Wait no," he found himself saying before he could think better of it. "This is a pretty scary one, I think. Maybe you should pick something else..."

"Can't handle scary things?" Seborga asked, already clicking over to the next option and not noticing the way Molossia tensed up beside him.

"Are you k-kidding me?!" the brunet growled, grabbing the remote from his friend's hand and turning it back. "I fucking l-love horror movies! Bring it!"

"Uh, are you sure? It just d-doesn't seem like your sort of-"

"What's wrong, Seborga?" Molossia cut in, digging his fingers into the cuffs of his shirt-sleeves to hide their trembling. "You too chickenshit to watch a little scary movie?" He let out a slightly strangled laugh, turning to meet the redhead's apprehensive stare.

"Well, okay then," the other nation agreed, giving him a strained smile. "Let's do this then."

\----

Sometime later that night found Molossia curled up under his covers clutching a baseball bat in one hand and his cellphone in the other.

"So wait. Wait!" America gasped, probably not even bothering to contain his laughter at the micronation's expense. "You mean you guys _actually_ watched the movie? _The whole movie?_ "

"The answer isn't going to change just because you keep repeating the damn question, y'know," Molossia ground out, fighting the urge to just hang up on the older nation. Calling him for help had obviously been a bad idea. He really should have known better. "And now it's really late and he won't. Fucking. _Leave_."

"Well, shit. dude. Of course not! I mean, everyone knows the Italies are kind of wimps when it comes to scary stuff. I can't _believe_ you showed him that one!"

"It was his idea!" Molossia lied, glaring into the darkness.

"Uh huh. Sure," America agreed far too easily to be even a little bit believable. "Listen, kid, you're just gonna have to deal with it until tomorrow morning. Maybe next time you wanna cozy-up you'll remember this and pick a rom-com instead."

"Cozy-up?" the brunet deadpanned, even as he felt his stomach sink at America's knowing tone.

"Yeah, I mean, I know horror movies are like, the oldest trick in the book, Moz, but terrifying your date to death is not the best way to go if you wanna get anywhere past first base, dude."

"Date?" Molossia repeated in a strangled voice. " _First base?!_ "

"Well, I mean, maybe you're still a bit young for that, but I didn't think baseball metaphors were _that_ outdated..."

"It wasn't a date! There was no dating or bases or-! Or anything like that!"

"Right, right." He could practically _hear_ the over-exaggerated wink America was giving him. "It's cool, Moz. I'm not gonna judge."

"THERE'S NOTHING TO JUDGE BECAUSE I'M NOT DATING SEBORGA!"

"Molossia!" Speak of the devil and he will come barreling through your (formerly locked) bedroom door. Molossia let out a yell, almost beaming Seborga in the face with his bat as the other nation clambered up onto the bed and under the covers. "Please let me sleep with you, Mols! It's really dark and your wind chimes nearly gave me a heart attack and-"

Hitting the end call on America's laughter, Molossia chucked the phone in the direction of the redhead's tearful wailing.

"Ow! Mols! That was really mean!"

"Good! I hope it fucking bruises! Now stay on that side of the bed and shut up or I'm kicking you out for real!"

\------

Several hours later, Molossia bolted awake, a sudden epiphany hitting him as only stupid shit like that could at two in the fucking morning.

"Stockholm Syndrome!" He exclaimed, slamming a fist down and accidentally whacking Seborga in the arm he had thrown across the brunet's mid-section sometime during the night.

"Wha-" the redhead asked, staring up at him blearily.

"Nothing. Never mind. Go the fuck back to sleep," Molossia ordered, laying back down placidly before realizing the position they were now in and reaching out to shove his friend away. "And get back on your side of the bed, dammit!"


End file.
